


it's easy when you're young and you want it so badly

by orphan_account



Series: things don't always make it out [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Crying, Domestic Disputes, Explicit Sexual Content, Fights, Growing Up, Hurt Stephen Strange, I'm Sorry, M/M, Marriage, Nostalgia, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:41:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22189594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Marriage wasn't supposed to be like this.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Series: things don't always make it out [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1597270
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	it's easy when you're young and you want it so badly

**Author's Note:**

> Based off All I Ever Wanted by Airborne Toxic Event
> 
> Listen, I love Ironstrange. I love them a lot. But also, I love their characters, and I believe those characters would at each other's throats or be having difficulties. I'm an evil, evil person.

Stephen finds he's able to speak properly when Tonys sleeping, but its only then. 

“...you're so important Tony,” He murmurs. The man in subject is sleeping across from him. Gold light peeks out from behind the soft curtains and glows on his bare shoulders. He looks immortal.“You are everything to me. You're beautiful and so smart, and you make me think more than anyone ever has. You make me feel like I'm worthy. All I've ever want-”

Tonys nose scrunches, his pink mouth opening, and Stephen shuts his mouth. 

He can hear the sounds of the morning creeping up on city. The cars hum and Tony stirs, not wanting to be apart from his New York for more than a minute. 

“I love you.” Stephen says. He does this a lot and he always says different things, but he _always_ pretends that Tony can hear him. 

  
Tony's afraid of many things, but he's terrified that he might be turning into his mother. 

“She loved me,” Tony admits to Stephen, one night after casino after casino, finally in their limo. He's laying against Stephen's chest, on his lap. His cheeks are wet and he's drunk, but so is Stephen. “I wish I knew she did before she died. She hid behind fancy clothes and smiles, and pretended she was happy.”

Stephen doesn't know what to say to that, so he connects their lips and lets Tony take lead. 

Stephen relates more to Tony's crisis more than he would like to admit. But while Tony's scared he might be more like his mother then he would like to be, Stephen can _feel_ himself turning his father. He can't even say simple things like I love you unless someone says it first. He finds himself more insecure and jealous, pulling Tony aside to ask if he really loves him, and to tell him to stop talking to them. And he can see the bullshit that comes out of his mouth so easily. There's always a lie on his tongue. 

They both end up lying about how they feel. 

Why did things turn like this? 

Wong says its always easier when you're younger and you need it more. Because you think that's all you want. Wong's full of shit, but Stephen hates that he's not wrong about that.

Stephen thinks he might scream when he finds himself buried in the rubble of their lies and hurt.

Tony hears Stephen whisper like a ghost and cry during the night. 

He wakes and can see the blue eyes staring at him, shaken. 

Stephen snarls like an cornered animal when Tony asks if he's alright. 

I'm fine, he says, and he pulls the blankets over the crater between forming the two. 

It's during this time of their lives when Tony sees Stephen like a ghost. He's quiet next to Tony at the table, forcing a smile and inhaling his drink. He walks through the empty house when he comes home. 

He misses when Stephen missed him, and when they were young. When Stephen rushed to Tony in the airport, no shits given, and jumped on him. When they were 17, at Tony's house, and Howard found Stephens hand inside of his pants. On the way back from the house, Tony tells Stephen he loves him, and that's when they knew it was going to be forever. 

They used to be passionate and hot, but now they're bitter and cold. Stephen is only intimate with Tony when he knows he won't be close to him, and Tony can feel the mans tears sliding down his naked spine as Stephen thrusts roughly, as silent as a resigned ghost. He finishes with a groan and Tony turns to look at his husband, but he's locking the bathroom door. 

Tony never thought he was that kind of man. Stephen seems like some faceless thing in his grasp. 

Wide shaken blue eyes, a cornered animal, a resigned ghost- Tony's soulmate is someone he doesn't know.

Tony wakes up to Stephen's voice asking him if he's going to be there forever. 

Tony wants to answer so bad, but he's afraid he'd be lying. He shudders at the thought of going without Stephen. 

When did things change?

Pepper says that marriage is never what the movies make it out to be.

Tony tells her she's never been married and Pepper slips on her heels and leaves, hurt. Another person gone. Tony pops open a bottle, and sees Maria staring back at him from the reflection. 

Stephen whispers the truth into the empty night air and Tony reminisces about the past and stares longingly at the husband he doesn't know. They never thought things could end up like this. 

Love is defying. 

**Author's Note:**

> Im sorry!!!
> 
> Leave a kudos and comment if you liked it?


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